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January 2009 
What's the most difficult question you've had to answer?
Posted on Aug 27th, 2007
by 
LucidDream
LucidDream
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 27, 2007:
"Do you understand what I mean/ how I feel?"
When people ask me this I just feel like laughing. Cause the conception of being able to understand one another to a full extent is nearly impossible. So I want to answer "No". But if I assume that I understand and answer "Yes", can I be lying?
Oh how I just love preception.
Anyway, I still havn't been able to give a 100% certain answer to that kind of question. Even if I could consider it to be a Yes and No answer, I still don't know if the answer would be true or false.
So for me, who wants to be honest and openminded, this is a dilema.
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I agree!
Perception is the issue…and, even then, how could any two people feel exactly the same way? Impossible.
A good trick that my husband taught me a long, long, long time ago, even to make sure that he and I both understood exaclty - more or less - what the other was saying was to respond to important seeming questions or statements by saying, “This is what I think I heard you say,” and then repeat what we thought we heard and wait for validation before we continued on.
It was very interesting to discover that, even before we got around to the answer, there were different perceptions of what the question - or statement - had been.
Like the Rock Man says, “You hear what you wanne hear.”
I smile at your response. I used to tell people, “yes”. When I went through my own unique journey with cancer, I began to realize most profoundly that nobody could understand my experience, and with that………….I began to realize that I had misunderstood something basic. I had wanted others to understand my experience with cancer and felt lonely because of it. There was no way anyone was every going to be in my experiences and know me, except me. It was such a freedom to accept that, and then allow others to love me in the ways that THEY defined for themselves.
Now I know when someone tries to come in and define my reality, they are actually crossing my boundary. It feels wrong for someone else to act like they know howI feel. I think we can all feel each other, and know at some close proximity as to what that might be like to have that experience…………but that is it.
Even with amazing intuitive healers and advisors, they still are only interpreting your energy. They are still running their experience of you, through their own self………..
Understanding this has helped me appreciate those people who support me, but not give them authority over my inner self. Only I can do that.